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The End of Myself

It’s 4:40pm, and I’ve run out of energy before I’ve run out of day.

My youngest has been sick for weeks, had an allergic reaction to another medication yesterday, and is soon heading to the O.R. for a surgical solution to this problem which can no longer be treated medically.

He also didn’t take a nap today. Not an official one, anyway. He slept in the van on the way to the doctor.

There’s a mountain of laundry in the basement that I haven’t had time to scale til today. It’s huge. Sickness generates even more laundry than our normally-productive family of five.

Dinner is barely started. The kids are starving (or so they say).

Big Boy has a class tonight, so I need to load and unload the family two more times today. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve loaded and unloaded already today.

I haven’t been to the gym in a couple of weeks because of my sick boy.

Not even time for a shower today.

The kids are having ridiculous fights, stealing toys from each other, screaming, and snotting all over things.

But…

I learned on Sunday that God can’t work on me until I get out of the way. “True righteousness only ever begins when I come to the end of myself.” (quote from Paul Tripp)

I’m at the end of myself today, God. Work your magic.

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