His wordless plea
Sliced through my pain
Built a tunnel
Through which I could see his.

Anger still hunts me
Seeks unguarded entrances
Baits with promise of control
Of weapons out of words

I have learned the truth
Word-weapons spawn new angry warriors
They imprison and isolate
They multiply my pain into others

Resisting angry mommy is daily
To give God my anger
To abandon my self-made fortress
To lay down the word-weapons
To surrender my craving for anesthesia
To draw his strength for the task
To sink into grace
To settle into his control
To cling to his true promises
To confess and receive mercy in failing

Today he brought flowers for my birthday
Hopeful joyous faces
Brighten heart-winter’s gloom
Heal wounds with forgiveness balm