As I wrote last week, some friends of ours lost their son very recently. I grieve over this loss for I know they lost far more than their son. They lost an entire way of life and an entire team of friends and supporters.

From the outside, this may sound crazy – wouldn’t you be thankful to bid farewell to hospitals and therapies and in-home nurses and breathing machines and suctioning and sleepless nights?

But you aren’t thankful. While unspeakably difficult, it’s the familiar every day routine you’ve lived for years. These are the people you work alongside.

Then suddenly, it’s gone.

Your home is full of unused equipment and empty of that person’s life. Your days gape open with nothing to fill them but fatigue and the burning behind your eyes and in your sinuses from crying.

I am trying to compose a letter to her, but I haven’t decided yet what to say.

I know many of you have lost a loved one. I wondered if I could pick your brains a little.

What one thing would you tell a friend who had just lost a loved one?