I discovered Amy Kiane’s blog, Ordinarily Extraordinary, a few weeks ago when a friend of mine included her post, A Time of Silence, in his “best of the week” list. Her rebuttal of the familiar saying “If you can’t hear God, guess who moved?” was spot-on, and I’ve been reading her blog ever since. I am featuring her blog this month, and am thrilled that she also agreed to guest-post today.
Restless. It feels as if God has me in a season of restlessness recently. I’m not sure why. A couple of situations are causing me sadness & worry, but I can’t really say these are plaguing my thoughts.
So I wonder if it is an anxiousness or just a sense changes are coming? I’m unsure. I know I can trust that God is working in all things.
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to hose who love God, those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NASB)
My mind races from one task to the next. Laundry, dinner, my son’s activities, writing….the list goes on and on. If you’re a mom you understand don’t you?
But it’s not only the busyness. My feelings, hypersensitive, keeping me from giving grace. Keeps me from noticing the graces He sends me. I move through the motions of each day.
Could it be my soul aching to be still? Is this restlessness simply God urging me to slow down? To be still so I can feel His presence? Yet part of me not wanting to slow myself. Knowing that if I do I will be forced to reflect. Forced to hear what God needs to teach me in order for growth. Growth requires pain at times. Yet still I’m filled with a longing to just be still even if it’s uncomfortable. I need to just be. Be who I am without allowing the expectations of others to cause frustration. I can only do that when I seek God’s presence.
Our campus pastor spoke about God’s manifest presence recently. It felt as if his words were directed at me. Words reminding me how much I miss that feeling. The feeling of God right beside me. Sensing even though unable to see. Just an unexplainable peace of being held. Of knowing I can be the person he created me to be without fear.
Several weeks have passed since I experienced that presence. Brief moments I sense it. Singing along to a certain song and tears suddenly falling. A sunset catching my breath. How very brief these moments have been though. I trust God is always with me, but I have forgotten to slow down. I have forgotten to calm myself and ask for Him to show me His presence.
“Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace, be still!’ And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.” Mark 4:39 (NKJV)
I’ve experienced the gift of being still. Of feeling His presence not only in a storm, but in the quietest of moments. When my spirit becomes restless I must be still. If I intentionally ask and seek His presence He is there. He is faithful.
Once again in His presence I learn to just be.
Do you find yourself restless at times and aching to just be and feel God’s presence?