Today is Five-Minute Friday, hosted by The Gypsy Mama. She gives a writing prompt and we just write, no editing, for five minutes. Then post. This week the prompt was “Grow.”

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She was so small. The laws said that a baby can’t face forward in a car-seat until they weigh 20 pounds, and most babies reach that by age 1. She was two and a half before she weighed 20 pounds. We mixed her formula to 30 calories/ounce (it’s normally 20 calories/ounce), just to keep her from losing weight. When she died at age 8 ½, she was still under 50 pounds.

He is growing well. He would graze all day long if I let him. The doctors printed off his growth chart at the last check-up and he’s actually in the 70^th percentile for one measure, 50^th for the other two. I can’t express the relief at seeing his growth curve smack-dab in the middle of the chart instead of a flat line underneath like his big sister’s was.

Yesterday we attended his Thanksgiving party at preschool. They sang “I am thankful for the Lord….” complete with motions and hip-shaking. Scott and I were thinking the same thing as we watched him throw his entire being into the songs – “Thank you God that he can do normal preschool things like this.”

I wasn’t expecting to find his class directed to the smaller chapel at the end of the party. I hadn’t been there since Elli’s memorial service over 3 years ago. I felt sick as I walked towards that room. I cried as I watched the 3 and 4-year-olds jump and laugh and sing in the same space where we sang and cried and laughed in celebration of Elli.

My son is growing where she did not, and sometimes it hurts.

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