Faith and Doubt
We Are Not Here To Make a Minister
This post is a story. It is a special story that I’ve wanted to tell and tried to write so many times. It is a scary story to send out into the world. I am protective of it like a mother with her child. But this Christmas, it finally leaked through my fingers onto the…
Read MoreOn Grieving Five Years In
I think October 19 is the toughest day of the year for Scott and I, followed closely by February 26. I want to use the word bittersweet for those days, but the date Elli died is mostly bitter and painful. The only trace of sweet comes when I think about how old she would be…
Read MoreLove That Groans – Baby Jesus Advent Blog
I’ve waited for the labor pains to push a child out of me four times. My firstborn, a girl, slid into our arms on a frosty February morning. We had no idea that four days later, we would sit across from a cardiologist as he delivered the devastating news that her heart had stopped beating…
Read MoreI Can Only Multitask So Much
*tap tap* Is this thing on? Hi. It’s me. I’m still here. I just haven’t figured out yet how to manage my job, my family, and our home and also write on this blog. My once-a-month post for Deeper Story seems to be all I can do. All of my creative energy gets poured into…
Read MoreBottled Up
the forest wept rain-tears falling mist dampening my dry upturned face grief for me for Elli gone five years that day
Read MoreCharity’s Dirty Little Secret
It was 7am, and I was in professional dress, coffee in hand, headed into my first ever hospital board meeting. The executive conference room was full of CEO/COO/CFO types, the chief of pediatrics, some local politicians… power and influence. And they wanted me there, a lowly mother of four who worked just a handful of…
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