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Marriage Letters: Opposites Attract

Dear Scott,

Some days, as we move through life together, that old song by Paula Abdul runs through my head. You know the one: “We come together ‘cuz opposites attract.”

If you ask someone for one word to describe you, they almost always respond “steady.” Ask someone about me and if we’re lucky, they’ll come up with something half-way positive like “outspoken” or “passionate” (which is a euphamism for something less nice, I’m sure).

We live so differently. You like flat surfaces to be clear of paraphernalia. I like things to be within easy reach at all times, especially when I use it often. I stack my stuff in nice neat piles all over flat surfaces (or not so neat piles, but whatever.)

You like to put money into savings. I like to get rid of debt. (Turns out that you win this one – to keep debt at bay, you have to have savings.)

You think about and do just one thing at a time. It has taken you years to get used to my penchant for combining tasks, trips, and visits.  I think, “We’re driving past a friend on the way to Someplace Else? Let’s stop and see them!” while you’re thinking, “Can’t we just get there?”

You don’t seek out change, preferring to sit back and wait for things to happen and you’re adept at finding what’s good about the present. I see how things could be better and have grand idealistic visions for the future. You think incrementally – what’s doable today? I think big. Changing the world gets me fired up, and I’m either chomping at the bit or wearing myself out pushing, shoving, nipping at heels, or posting provocative things on Facebook.

You can sleep in any position, anywhere, and through anything: screaming babies, puking toddlers, terrified sleep-walkers, and alarm clocks. I don’t sleep through anything. It was a great day when I finally convinced you to move your alarm clock across the room – it ended the torture of hearing you snooze your alarm for 45 minutes.

I came out of the womb loving books, while you’ve had to learn to love reading. You’ve taught me about 80s pop culture and pratfalls, and I’ve introduced you to classics like The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.

I throw the windows open whenever I can stand it, loving a fresh breeze blowing through the house and natural cooling. You prefer everything tightly closed and your climate to remain artificially controlled at all times.

I take things too seriously and too personally. You find the joke in the unexpected, or you make one up. I’m sure you’re prolonging your life (which is a good thing). I love how you keep me laughing. I need that.

Scott and Joy serving cake

We're really good at serving birthday cake. (His t-shirt says "I put ketchup on my ketchup." It's perfect.)

These sorts of differences can drive a couple crazy and split them apart. We’ve chosen to make our idiosyncrasies into glue. We celebrate our differences because they keep us balanced. We need each other to stay out of trouble and avoid our personal extremes, and we know that. It shouldn’t work, but it does. We make a great team, you and me.


This week Seth, Amber, Scott, and I decided to write on the prompt “opposites attract.” Don’t miss their letters (Scott’s made me laugh so hard I cried)! Want to write a letter to your spouse this week? Post it any time in the next week and then link up on Amber’s blog.

Do you have a suggestion for a writing prompt for these letters? Leave it in the comments!

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